The next big move of my life came suddenly and unexpectedly, but I guess that’s what I needed to push me past my fear.
It was Thursday night when the call came in.
“Hi Batya, it’s Hadas, from Mayanot (school of holistic medicine). We are starting up some new courses, and the classes are very small. I thought you might want to join them. They begin this Sunday.”
The plan wasn’t to start until I’d saved a significant amount of money and my Hebrew was up to par, but I somehow found the insanity (with the help of a little courage) to take the leap, and arrived early Sunday morning at the program.
The walls are a comforting off-white and turquoise-blue, and the staff is warm, open and friendly, from the moment I enter. I’d had an interview here last year, so I knew I would feel at home.
It’s humbling to come from being an avid student and class participant to sitting in class, answering only the easiest questions in my broken Hebrew, and straining to understand the vocabulary. I sometimes take out my guitar during break to regain my momentum.
Still, I get the gist of things, and there are a few books I’ve ordered to study on my own.
The courses are only part time right now, and, even though I come home tired, they’re really manageable.
It for sure has something to do with the subject matter, Traditional Chinese Medicine, which is taught in a holistic manner- breathing in the beginning of class for better focus, and philosophical discussions popping up with many concepts. The material makes me excited, bringing me to a place of higher sensitivity and awareness.
To be honest, acupuncture is not so much my speed, but in a way, it grounds me, and I know that the ultimate treatment is to combine both physical and emotional remedies to fully heal the patient.
On another note, I think the time has come time for me to find my own room. So far, sleeping in a room with two other girls has been ok, but most of my creativity remains unexpressed, waiting for the opportunity to be alone. I have only written one song in 12 months, and that’s saying a lot. I’ve been staying in on my own some shabbasos just to enjoy the quiet.
It’s a skill I have to learn, to carve out time to be alone and to find the quiet inside of me, and I know it will come in handy later.
Now that I’m settled enough to look at my future, this step of finding my inner peace not only seems helpful, but essential. In order for me to help others find their balance, in their emotional and physical health, mine needs to be present.
It’s also something about the air in Israel itself; G-d is felt stronger here, and the lack of His full revealing Himself leaves some people feeling a larger chasm than they felt back home. From what I’ve observed, the spiritually attuned either drive themselves crazy searching for the Source, or go inside themselves and find It there.
So, that’s the latest inner work- to explore my inner world and find that place where the noise of the outside world doesn’t interfere. How does one do that when the world has so much noise? Where does that untouched place exist? Is maintaining that stillness even possible?
I’d love to hear your experiences and tips about finding your inner quiet, because ultimately, it’s easiest to find Hashem (G-d) there.
All the best,